I Don't Wanna Go To Camp EP

by Judas Jetski

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about

This EP was originally undertaken by me (Andy) as a 48-hour project. Most of what's here was written and recorded within one 48-hour period, from July 26th to July 29th, 2011. None of it existed before then; some finishing touches were added afterwards.

Two songs were recorded a little later, using the same process and pace: "Unconventional War" (recorded August 3rd, using tracks from the original session) and "Scout Camp Death March" which was tracked on August 6th.

Things were pretty "ghetto," let me tell ya. Mic setups (when we even used them) involved more-or-less random placements of random microphones. Drums were tracked to cassette: three tracks, mono. Tape was used or discarded stock. Artifacts of the process can be heard throughout, which may help to explain the weirdness at the beginning of "Unconventional War."

Likewise, the approach to subject matter & lyrics was slapdash at best. Time was short, so I decided to give my inner 15-year-old free reign. My inner 15-year-old also offered to do the album artwork. Knowing the amount of experience my inner 15-year-old has with drawing stick figures I decided to go ahead and let him do it.

It's a little rough in patches. But like I said, that's part of the unique process that produced this nightmare. Hope you enjoy. Have fun at camp, kids!

credits

released August 11, 2011

Andy--more responsibility than he cares to admit.
Amie--bass on a buncha tracks.

Backing vocals by The Mount Masada Old Time Harmony Singers:

Dee Fascia
Aphasia Sardis
Phil McCracken
Zee Count
I. M. Larry

Mastered by Dirk Malavase.

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: Ältär Cäll
I've got what you want
But you've got what I need
I may have a broken heart
But you'll just make it bleed
I need something real
'Cause all I feel is fake
I'll try hard to be born again
And maybe this one takes

Altar call, altar call, now my back's against the wall.
Altar call, salvation by remote control.

Got born again in youth group
Got born again in camp
The music started playing
And every eye was damp
My girlfriend's father prayed with me
In his pickup truck
I know I'm bound for heaven,
But right now my life just sucks

Altar call, altar call, now my back's against the wall.
Altar call, salvation by remote control.

I've turned my back on hatred
I've turned my back on pride
So tell me why it is I feel
All broken-up inside?
My life's a haze of bread and wine
And peanut-butter fluff
I've been saved like 50 times
So tell me what's enough?

Altar call, altar call, now my back's against the wall.
Altar call, salvation by remote control.
Altar call, altar call, now you've got me feeling small.
Altar call, salvation by remote control.
Track Name: I Don't Like Your Attitude
Stuck here with these Junior High kids jacked up on caffeine
I've been teaching Sunday School since I was 17
Please don't get me wrong--right now I'm trying to be mean
I don't wanna be here and that's why I say

Hey, I don't like your attitude
Hey, I'm so sure you're being rude
Hey, sometimes I feel a lot like Judas

Judy you'd look better with a touch of middle class
Tom, I'd solve your problems with a foot square in yr ass
Bobby, Jane and Charlie, you're all right, yr dad's got cash
But I don't wanna be here, and that's why I say

Hey, I don't like your attitude
Hey, I'm so sure you're being rude
Hey, sometimes I feel a lot like Judas

Teaching Junior High kids is a dirty, thankless job
The only way I'd do it is to get in good with God
But right about now, I could do a rubout for the mob
I don't wanna be here, and that's why I say

Hey, I don't like your attitude
Hey, I'm so sure you're being rude
Hey, sometimes I feel a lot like Judas
Track Name: Necropolis Apocalypse
Something about a bunch of ancient tombs, bones, and things blowing up. Beyond that I'm not sure...
Track Name: Get Outta The Way
Riding on the freeway,
Running low on gas,
Gotta use the bathroom,
You know I'm gonna pass!
Motor's really pounding,
Building up some speed--
An open stretch of highway
Is what I really need.

Get outta the way!
Get outta the way!
Get outta the way!
Get outta the way!

Move into the left-hand lane
Traffic's way too slow
Heading for the white line
Got no place to go
Motor's really pounding,
Building up some speed--
An open stretch of highway
Is what I really need.

Get outta the way!
Get outta the way!
Get outta the way!
Get outta the way!
Track Name: I Don't Wanna Go To Camp
This ain't the first time
But it's the worst, and I walk right up to the prison gate
With my gym bag in my hands.
Don't wanna be here
I grit my teeth and I do my best to find a way
To surrender like a man.

I don't wanna go to camp
I don't wanna go to camp

Humiliation
Indoctrination in the kinds of things you gotta do
To be successful as a slave.
Deprecation
Try to forget all the things I did to raise the cash
So I could do the things I hate.

I don't wanna go to camp
I don't wanna go to camp

Nobody likes me, nobody cares.
And I try to find a way to ease the suffering
But I know I never can.
To fill the hours,
I'll find some craft, and I'll do my best to try to earn
Another worthless rubber stamp.

I don't wanna go to camp
I don't wanna go to camp

This ain't the first time
But it's the worst, and I walk right up to the prison gates
With the future in my hands.
Track Name: Scout Camp Death March
Throat is dry and feet are sore
Should not have eaten all those s'mores
You may love the great outdoors,
But we won't take this any more!

Scout Camp Death March
Scout Camp Death March

You keep us on the double-quick
You will not stop, you must be sick!
Don't put down your walking stick,
'Cause when you do, your ass is kicked!

Scout Camp Death March
Scout Camp Death March

Watch the scenery plod by
See the hatred in our eyes
Hope you've said your last goodbye,
'Cause when we stop, you're gonna die.

Scout Camp Death March
Scout Camp Death March
Scout Camp Death March
Scout Camp Death March...
Track Name: Unconventional War
I am the gatekeeper and I will help you find
The way to live your life with perfect peace of mind
Just do the things I say, do them the best you know
Just do the things I say, because I tell you so.

Oh, no, it's unconventional war!
Oh, no, it's so unconventional!

I am the gatekeeper, I'm here to let you know
Which things you get to do, which places you can go
You can decide whichever way you want to choose
To do the things I have in mind for you to do.

Oh, no, it's unconventional war!
Oh, no, it's so unconventional!

"Things will be different when ________"
"Things will be different when ________"
"Things will be different when ________"
"Things will be different when ________"
"Things will be different when ________"
"Things will be different when ________"
"Things will be different when ________"
"Things will be different when ________"

Oh, no, it's unconventional war!
Oh, no, it's so unconventional!
So three-dimensional...
So unintentional...
Track Name: You Don't Recall
You wanna know
What I think?
I think this situation really stinks.
You call it faith,
Your trust in luck--
But when things fall apart, I'm the one who's stuck.

And you don't recall--
You don't recall--
When things go wrong you don't recall.

Natty tie,
Clean shirt--
But I'm the one who's doing all the work!
You say it's fate,
It's gotta be,
But I'm the one who gets PTSD.

And you don't recall--
You don't recall--
When things go wrong you don't recall...

You want a song?
Well, here you go.
You asked for my opinion, now you know.
You think you're great,
But you're wrong--
And I'm the guy who said so all along.

But you don't recall--
You don't recall--
When things go wrong you don't recall.